The Bonus Round

Not long after our youngest son was born, we felt quite sure that he was meant to be our last child, and shortly after we moved last summer, John volunteered to take one for the team and underwent the 'procedure' to ensure that our family of seven would remain such.

Over the last year, we've eagerly viewed each moment through the rosy lens of a rapid exit from our extended baby phase of life.  Diaper-free days were now within view.  We've cherished the idea of soon being able to go on family vacations, hikes and bike rides without the required 200+lbs of baby gear and essentials. 

We shed baby clothes, maternity clothes, and baby gear faster than you could count to one.  We purchased all manner of paraphernalia (Christmas stockings, Easter baskets, etc.) in groups of five.  Last year John splurged on the perfect Mother's Day present, a Mother's ring set with the five birthstones of each of our five littles.

We mapped out our future: high school graduations, possible college graduations, retirement, and all the major milestones a family of seven might tackle in the foreseeable future.   (We're engineers.  A love for detailed planning goes with the  territory, and we unabashedly profess it.)  We relished in the symmetry of our boy-boy-girl-boy-boy birth order and the room-sharing and bunking capabilities it provides.  (Symmetry makes my heart happy.  Did I mention we're engineers?)

We prepared to store away the baby crib, gnawed nearly to mulch in places by five babies that apparently each experimented for a short time with a diet consisting primarily of wood, and we raised our hands to the heavens and praised The Almighty God above that John would never again lose days of his life sanding and refinishing said crib to remove evidence of aforementioned experimentation, as he had so dutifully done with our last four children.

We found ourselves unable to introduce our small train of children unless promptly followed by the phrase, "And that's it for us!".  And when asked if we were done, we emphatically responded in the affirmative, and our response gradually progressed to include the phrase, "Unless God tells us, 'Surprise!  That didn't work!'"

Well...SURPRISE!  THAT DIDN'T WORK!

If you'd have asked me a decade ago how many children John and I would have, I would have told you that we'd have two, maybe three.  I would have laughed you out of the room at the suggestion of six.  Six kids didn't mesh with our priorities at that time.  Let's face it, if you like nice things, it's best to halt production on the miniature demolition crew that you are creating and turning loose in your home. 

Big families are rare these days, and don't get me wrong, I get it.  There was a time when I myself thought that anything beyond three kids was Crazy with a capital 'C.'  Kids are expensive.  They're destructive.  They're messy, and sticky, and smelly.  They're loud, and whiny, and time-consuming, and exhausting.  And I wondered why any sane person would continue to add to the level of chaos that I considered acceptable.

The truth is, there are few roles more sanctifying than parenthood.  If you'd like to have your patience tested, or to see your flaws and insufficiencies thrown in your face daily (hourly actually), then parenthood's for you.  But the truth that follows is that there are also few roles more rewarding than parenthood.  Unconditional love, unmerited grace, and unbridled joy flow from children unhindered.  Kids are exciting.  They're loving.  They're funny, and cuddly, and giggly.  They're cheerful, and insightful, and honest, and entertaining. 

And above all, they're priceless.  They're invaluably unique.  Never has there been, nor will there ever be another child just like this one.  NEVER.  Children are a testament to the boundless and unfathomable Creator who has seen fit to design every person from the beginning of time with love and care and purpose.  No mass production, no cookie-cutter stamp outs.  Just irreplaceable, matchless blessings that (literally) scream of individuality.  They're worth every penny, every mess, every drop of sweat, and every ounce of energy.  

And so we land on the truth that this child was meant to be, woven with purpose and intended to bless.  We planned for five, but God gave us a Bonus Round!  So our baby phase of life has been unexpectedly extended, and sometime around early October we'll be breathing in the scent of a sweet-smelling newborn once again.

And praise Jesus for translational symmetry because....

Got Your Goat

For a little over a year we've been using this chore system, which has been an invaluable tool for teaching our kids responsibility and biblical stewardship.  When each child receives his or her money on payday, it's immediately distributed into one of three categories: spending (70%), saving (20%) and tithing (10%).  And while I love that this idea reinforces the concept of faithfully tithing without question, I acknowledge that, unless intentionally addressed, it also subtly implies that our charitable responsibility ends with the 10% given to the church.  

  

I find this concept entirely unbiblical.  While I don't deny the biblical basis for tithing to the church, there are so many biblical passages, so many passages, that encourage us to love others by giving sacrificially.  We're commanded to love others as we love ourselves, which has undeniably strong implications when it comes to the giving of our resources.  And when we limit our sacrificial giving to our tithe, we not only fail to love others as Christ commanded, but we also rob ourselves of the joy that comes from giving.

We've tried to make up for this by emphasizing the ways in which John and I personally give in areas outside of our tithe, such as sponsoring children through Compassion International, giving monthly to ministries like Mercy House, supporting friends on the mission field, or participating in seasonal ministries like Operation Christmas Child.  We read Compassion International's Explorer Magazine, and we talk with them often about the needs we see around us and how God has given us the ability to meet some of those needs.  And yet it feels as though entitlement is still encamped just outside our home, waiting for the chance to pounce.

So this past payday we started something new.  While their chore money will still be apportioned as outlined above, they will now be encouraged to give whatever they desire from their personal spending money towards a fund designated to help someone in need.  Our hope is that as they personally experience sacrifice, they see the blessing of giving to others, cultivating a lasting desire to give.

We're starting by buying a goat ($70) through Samaritan's Purse for a poverty stricken family in a third-world country.    So far it's been a fun goal, and after the first week, we now have $9.22 in our Goat Fund.  I'm anxious to see how long it takes us to reach our goal, and I'm curious to know what they pick for our next project!